Movie Review : Stealth

We all have seen the movie trailer many many times...
We all have seen that there was a ring of fire in the sky sometime in the movie...
We all know that a ring of fire in the sky is retarded...
We all expected the movie to be too powerful to comprehend...
We all were not disappointed...

Synopsis:
The movie is about 3 actors acting as pilots, who fly stealth planes generated by nerdy computer graphics designers. They were later joined by a 4th pilot, who turns out to be a computer shaped like a basketball(Keanu Reeves was first drafted to play the role of the 4th pilot, but the Director figured a computer aeroplane would be much cheaper and yet have more acting skills than Keanu).

All the other pilots are jealous of Mr Computer Plane because he had more neon lights than all of their handphones combined(plus he could download songs from the internet and not get caught). Soon Mr Computer gets hit by lightning and goes crazy, killing lots of stuff. But there is a twist to the movie. The ending is so shocking, it would leave you thinking :"Sooooo?? Thennnnn?? Fuck it, Lets go eat prata".


The most dangerous stunts in the movie were performed by the computer programmers themselves, without the assistance of any stuntmen whatsoever. Programming day and night at the risk of wrist and neck pains, the programmers worked hard to create hours of computer generated flight scenes of planes flying here...


Planes flying there...



Planes flying everywhere...


I feel, the only drawback of this movie, is its lack of hot babes, an absolute must in all generic hollywood movies. Of course theres Jessica Biel, but why Jessica Biel when u can have Jessica Alba?

Jessica Biel


Jessica Alba


Jessica Biel


Jessica Alba


Need I say more?
In fact, if Jessica Alba was in this movie, she would be one of the few actress' who had 3 movies consecutively playing in the theatres. 3 is a good number.. 3 is a prime number... The 3 musketeers... The 3 Stooges... The 3 Bilnd Mice... The 3 idiots who starred in "Stealth"...


Of course, I cannot forget the highlight of this movie,
THE RING OF MOTHERFUCKING FIRE...


Woosh!!!!



In the sky!!!!


Now that... is Hollywood...

If you only need one reason to watch Stealth, this is it.
But remember, only watch it at Empress, or you'll have $2.50 more reason to beat yourself about...

DAFANSU gives this movie 4 out of 5 Potatoes...

Album Review - Crazy Frog : Crazy Hits

Axel F, Crazy Frog's flagship song has taken the UK Charts by storm, beating less deserving artists like Coldplay to the number 1 spot on the chart for many weeks(not counting).

Taking other artist's songs and adding random irritating sounds like "ding ding" and "bhem bhem", he has created a whole new soundtrack exactly like the older one, just much more painful.

A once boring but catchy song, Axel F was originally the theme song for Beverly Hills Cop The Movie, which aired many decades ago. The song was a hit by itself, but for some reason, it had no soul. It had no lyrics. The Crazy Frog solved that by adding some sentimental, yet powerful lyrics to it.

The new Axel F, done by Crazy Frog, goes like this..
Lyrics :
A ring a ding a ding ding ding bumm baba
Wat wat wattts goin on on
Ding ding
I am the crazy frog
Ding ding
Bhem bhem ring ding ding ding ding
Ring ring bim ding ding ding

I used to love Axel F when I was young(I actually bought the CD to test out my new Stereo System years ago... So naturally, this Crazy Frog version just blew me away.

The entire album, which consists of 16 songs(including the intro), are also remixes of older techno songs with "ding ding"s and "ring ring"s added in. Its a good buy... Go get it...

If for some sick reason, you decide that The Crazy Frog is THE hottest thing of the century and you absolutely(against all hopes of sanity) HAVE to create a shrine dedicated to the Crazy Frog, dont worry... There are tonnes of Crazy Frog memorabilia avalable on Ebay for whatever fools who would soon be parted from their moneys.





Be warned, that playing Crazy Frog's album in your car while driving may result in your car driving offroad and in to some interesting topographical feature.


Dafansu gives this album 5 non-chinese speaking potatoes