Movie Review : Initial D

Background Info:
Jay Chow, like all other singers who's acting is as bad as their singing, decides to make his first ever movie. With his huge fanbase of adolescent girls, theres bound to be someone who would actually watch it, no matter how shitty a job he does.

Synopsis:
Tofu seller's son, Jay Chow(I can't remember his on-screen name) is damn good at racing. Many professional racers challenge him and end up losing, as Jay is the star of the show and they are not.
In the end, Jay finds out that his girl is a whore and sulks about it.

Like most other Singer-Turned-Actors, Jay does a damn good job at conveying his emotions onscreen.

Here are some examples...


Jay in his car, deep in thought


Jay still in his car, deep in thought


Jay somewhere else, deep in thought


Jay choking on pau, deep in thought

Another character worth mentioning is Anne Suzuki, who plays Jay's bitch in the movie. She is the closest(and only) thing that comes close to a "babe" in the movie. To show you just how hot she is, heres a Voyeuristic shot of her from behind the cinema seat.


Now, some of you may think that Jay's acting skills are abit sub-standard(you are not alone). But they are not. They are in fact, comparable to 2 of the industry's leading actors, Steven Seagal and Jet Li. In the following comparison, you can see all 3 of them using the same facial expressions for

Angry...


Suspicious...


and Happy...


This means that Jay has got it right on his first movie.. Nice work Jay!

MPAA Rating:
R-30(Only 30years old and above) - Reckless driving is something the government does not condone, they don't want the impressionable younglings drifting(or at least trying to) around every corner.(besides, insurance is cheaper after 30 years of age)

Genre:
Comedy

Appeals to:
Young Adolescent Schoolgirls and gays who like emotionless men.

Rating:
DAFANSUREVIEWS refuses to rate this show, as we are incredibly biased against Singers-Turned-Actors-And-Sucking-At-It.
But we believe a picture says more than words ever will...

The Masturbating Monkey in the car(proton), after watching Initial D.

This is stupid

This is stupid. I will do a review on the garden state but I have not watched it yet. I think I will just copyt the synopsis from somewhere. Is that legal? What are the limitations? Are you gay? I am coming back on the 28th July... I want ma bitches...

Movie Review : Jet Li's "Unleashed"

Background Info
Jet Li, Asian Kung Fu superstar, disraught at how slow his carrear in Hollywood is progressing, decides to branch out into a field which most actors usually get into sometime in their lives, "Actual Acting".

Synopsis
As an angry chinese man(AKA Danny The Dog), he gets burly caucassian guys to queue up, before proceeding to beat them up one by one in a fight to the death(or until the Caucassian guy falls out of camera, whichever comes first). He soon gets taken in to a family threatened by random caucassian guys, which Jet Li then proceeds to beat up. The show ends with him realizing that beating people up is not everything in a movie, and that pianos are cool.

Unlike conventional Jet Li movies up till now, "Unleashed" features more Jet Li dialogues than any other movie before, thus showcasing his versatile acting skills. Complicated lines include "Yes", "No", "I dont remember", "I don't want to kill anymore", "kiss" and "love".

As a prefessional(self-claimed) actor, he is able to convey his feelings using various facial expressions. He has access to various expressions, including


"Angry"


"Getting Angry"


"Getting Very Angry"


and "Very Angry"

MPAA Rating
NC-16 - for sequences of violence, intense action,sexual content(Jet Li talks about "Kisses", now thats something you wont want your kids to hear) and sub-standard acting skills.

Genre(s)
Comedy(if you're in to that sort of thing)

Rating
dafansureview.blogspot.com gives "Unleashed"

4 out of 5 Potatoes
Its a MUST WATCH!
But only if its at Empress, the choice of dafansu.blogspot.com.

Welcome to the DAFANSU REVIEW PAGE

Due to the overwhelming popularity of DAFANSU.BLOGSPOT.COM(DAFAN-WHAT? Never heard of it), the good folks at DAFANSU have started a review page, dedicated to bringing you the most comprehensive and totally useless reviews of anything and everything under the sun/moon/fluorescent lightbulb.
Basically we are just going to watch random Movies at Clementi Empress Movie Theatre(complete with state of the art Mono sound and houseflies for that Digital Cinema Experience) and bitch about them here. Live with it.